Saturday, May 30, 2015

Happy and Hopeful



Okay, get it over with. Skip to the bottom and have a look, then, come back to read the juicy details. I would.


We thought adoption would look like this:
  • Submit profile book and application
  • Wait 2 years
  • Get THE phone call with a match from the agency
  • Have a baby..in 2-4 weeks. Completely surprise everyone with a photo of our brand new baby!
It was more like this:
  • Meet birthparents #1 (Yes, this came first. Three days into this journey, however, no match).
  • [THEN] Submit profile book and application
  • Fundraise
  • Potential birthmother # 2's mom contacts us (early loss).
  • Fundraise
  • Fundraise
  • Six weeks in, it's a match through personal connections! She's about 17 weeks. Boy or girl?
  • FUNDRAISE
  • Fundraise, Fundraise
  • Fundraise..
  • Tell everyone because it's too exciting, and we've been texting, maternity clothes shopping, lunching, phoning, best friend and other children meeting, in hospital visiting, and lifelong relationship building with a sweet, sweet momma for FOUR months. (You are here).




It doesn't even seem right to call this a match, because this is so much more. We've truly built a relationship with this mother. With adoption being only potential until all documents are official, we know it sounds crazy, but we have trusted our hearts to this mother. There is so much to share, but if you've spent time with us recently, we've probably filled in some blanks as to how we got here. I'll be honest, it is scary to announce anything. I've been trying to post this for about four weeks and keep chickening out. We have to prepare our home again for a baby that may never come.. but what if baby does come? There is so much to do. Prepare the nursery, restock diapers, hire photographer, locate breast milk, speak to employers, install car seat, find out of state location to spend 1-6 weeks until paperwork goes through, sterilize bottles, etc. etc.. How can you do these things with a pessimistic heart? Doesn't every baby deserve the very best? Expectant parents who wait with happy, hopeful hearts for baby's arrival.

 
Please remember, nothing is official, but it is looking very promising.
 
 
MOTHER
We never expected to have such a great relationship with our future child's mother. We know we need to guard our hearts and did a pretty great job at that until we really started getting to know her. She is just amazing and truly wants what is best for baby. She works full time. She has a Bachelor's degree. She is kind and funny. She also feels she is just not in a good place to raise a new little son, but doesn't want to "give him up." She wants to give him more. She will be a part of this baby's life forever. This baby is to lucky have so many who love him with the heart of a parent.
We knew about open adoption, but never thought about the pregnancy being open, too. With her being so early when we first spoke, we had lots of time to get to know each other and just let the relationship grow at its own pace. He is due one day after Colt & Case's birthday. She noted this fact as a sign that this was meant to be, and we couldn't help but agree with her. When there is a mother out there referring to the baby inside of her as the name you and your husband have been dreaming out, saying, "When he comes home to you guys.." When you feel the baby kick your hand as soon as you put your hand on her belly. When you have the opportunity to shop with her for maternity clothes, meet your future son's half-siblings, visit her in the hospital (brief scare with preterm labor). When her doctors talk to you about your baby's health information, how do you turn that down to guard your heart just in case?  We feel honored and lucky to get all the information, experiences, relationships we can that could be OUR BABY's heritage and birth story. If this weren't an open adoption, we would miss all of that. Our son might say, "Who do I look and act like?" "Did I kick a lot when I was inside?" "Did I make the woman who carried me crave funny foods?" "What did I look like on ultrasound?" "Do I have biological siblings?" Well guess what, we have those answers to share and so does she. How many adoptive mothers and fathers can say that? How many get to feel their unborn baby's little kicks on their hands? Get months and months to really prepare their hearts for their specific child? Open adoption can be so beautiful!
 
We realize all of this could have a seriously painful ending. This can go really, really good or really, really bad. Mothers change their minds and placement plans all the time [As the hospital social worker ensured me with a 'you baby snatcher' tone when I called about a room during her preterm labor scare. OUCH]. We've been through loss and devastation before and are beginning to feel like the benefit outweighs the risk. This could be our baby's birth story in the making, and we want to be a part of it.
 
Please remember us in prayer during this exciting and nerve wracking time, but also cover baby's birthmother in prayer. This is likely to be painful for her even though it will be an open adoption. We realize that our miracle will cause her heartache, but hopefully, in the end, peace of mind, knowing baby is getting the very best and being loved and cared for and supported and uplifted by a great family and at least 7300 other people. ;)
 
 
 
 
 
 
With happy, hopeful hearts, say hello to
Lawson Cooper.

29 weeks
 

31 weeks-Chunky Monkey squished in there!




 
She let herself out of the house and got right in front of the photographer.
He's growing in her heart, too!
 
 

1 comment:

  1. This is truly beautiful! I don't know how I havent seen your blog before! You guys are the perfect couple, and have been through so much, I can't wait to follow your journey with your little man in your arms! Your story is so amazing, I think it might be just what I need to share with my husband to make him realize that we should look into adoption! I have no hope that it will ever happen for us on our own, so adoption would be perfect, albeit A LOT OF WORK, but completely worth it! Thanks for sharing!!

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